Overcoming Shyness
It was comedian Russel Brand who said, "Shyness is a form of narcissism because you are caring about what people think of you. Instead of focusing on what you have to offer the world, or how can you give and how can you serve. You are focusing on what people will think of you." This is not an exact quote but you get the picture. This was the answer he gave when a twitter follower asked the question, 'How do you overcome shyness?'
If you know who Russel Brand is then you know he is anything but shy and has a very enriched spiritual philosophy on life. He is not flashy or egotistical, but loud, full of humor and has a practical answer to everything. And this answer changed my life. Those few words for a 'starting out self-publisher who has had the dream since a child to be a writer' was all it took for me to alter my thinking.
The word 'shyness' has been used a million times over by the most talented of people to keep themselves small. And I was one of them. I found it difficult to market my books in case anyone would dare purchase them and then give me a terrible review, or tell everyone they know, how awful my books are. The truth is, there are going to be many people who do not like my books or my style of writing, and many who will. Is that my problem? No it isn't. That is life. That is art.
But there is an initial block that you need to get over first - the first time you cold call, or put your art out onto social media for the first time. The first book you publish or the first interview you give, or the first speech in front of a live audience. The first time is worst time. It is much easier after that, but only if you love what you do.
Please note# Do things that energize you. Stop doing things that drain you. Be with people who energize you. Stop being with people who drain you. If you are keeping yourself small in a job that drains you, then either quit or set yourself a plan to leave. The word 'shy' can also be used for those who are just really tired and drained and have forgotten what joy and energy feels like.
Which brings me to the next subject. There is big difference between being shy and being an introvert. Many successful people are natural introverts. They've just learnt how to do things their way and have become very good at it. You will know the difference deep down inside. When you turn down a fabulous opportunity because you are 'shy'and you feel like vomiting or crying rather than feeling relieved, than you have kept yourself small and that is soul destroying. Stop doing that to yourself. Let yourself shine in the way only you know how to do.
